October 23, 2009

TOTBT Day 23: Lindsey Leavitt

Day 23: Today we have awesome author Lindsey Leavitt! She is author of Princess for Hire coming soon! (I'm super excited for this one!) Anyways she is going to do a guest post about "when are you too old to trick or treat?" Enjoy!!!
I remember the day well. I’d had the idea on the bus ride home from school and gone straight to my mother’s closest to get to work. I found an old wool skirt, a cable-knit V-neck, and shoes so practical they bored librarians. I finished the look with some pigtail braids and my glasses. Classic school girl.
I hadn’t planned out a costume that year because, at thirteen, I thought dressing up was kids stuff. That was until my friend told me her rich neighbors were passing out KING SIZED candy bars for Halloween. Twenty houses would bring in enough loot to send me into a sugar coma.
Of course, my mom got mad when she saw my make-shift costume. OF course she told me I couldn’t hit the streets. Of course I ended up sneaking a few Snickers from the candy bowl set out to give to other kids. And, of course, kids from my class, kids MY AGE, showed up to trick or treat. Ah, the cruel irony.
This injustice was so great I have since dedicated my life (or maybe just his blog post) to educating teens on how to avoid such a sad fate. I’ve outlined three battle tactics below that I pray serve you well. Go forth and conquer and if you have any extra Junior Mints, send them my way.
1. Latch onto a large group of kids
It helps if these are younger kids—say around 7-10. This age is ideal because they aren’t weighed down by little toddlers tripping up the porch steps, and you don’t stick out too much size-wise. Linger a little when they knock, then get your bag in there without making eye-contact with the candy giver. No need to say trick or treat—your voice is only going to draw attention to your age. Masks are also a good idea, particularly if you have facial hair.
2. Steal a baby
When my first little girl was about six months old, a friend asked me to go trick or treating with her older kids. This was back when I still liked pretending my kids were dolls, so I put her in this cute little ladybug get up and off we went. At first, I would hang back on the curb and let the other kids do their thing. But no one could see how cute my baby was that way, so I had to go to the door and receive my well-earned compliments. Thing is, when they told me how cute my kid is, they also offered up candy. Huh. Pretty soon, I’d pulled out a little baggy I kept in my diaper bag and join the trick or treaters. My child needed the experience! And all that candy for baby, who ate nothing but milk and mashed carrots, needed to be eaten by someone?
You see what I’m saying? Get a baby. If you’re good, you can bring your own bag and DOUBLE THE LOOT. Can’t find a baby, a doll will do IF you find the right costume. Don’t get greedy and pretend you have twins, though.
And finally, perhaps my favorite…
3. Be a horse butt
Or a dragon butt. Any kind of butt will do, really. As long as the person in front of you in any two-person costume is younger, you’re golden. People often give the butt more candy, actually, because who doesn’t pity a butt?
Just make sure the kid in front of you isn’t having any digestive problems.

Oh my i was laughing out loud the whole time! I love the baby idea!!!! Also i am glad Lindsey is using this post to enlighten us 16 year old's who cant trick-or-treat this year! I might steal one of her tactics!!!

Thank you so much Lindsey for this hilarious post! You can check out her blog HERE!!!!

P.s.- im taking the act tommorrow! wish me luck!

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